Chad Pennington, Ryan Leaf, Stanford Tree

= "They thought saying 'please' would make a difference. Ha ha ha ha ha..."

It appears that Chad Pennington has rejected the New York Jets' offer to lower his contract by $8 million. You can file that one under "good decision." Perhaps Pennington saw Carson Palmer renegotiate his contract to the tune of nine years and $119 million, and realized you're supposed to try to get more money.

The Jets offered some seemingly good reasons for Pennington to alter his contract. First of all, they say he could easily earn all that money back through incentives. But you can't really hit your bonuses when you're dressed like this. You normally have to don a helmet and shoulder pads, and Miss Cleo sees in Pennington's future a third rotator cuff surgery and eight missed games in 2006.

Secondly, the Jets say Pennington should do it for the good of the team. Unfortunately, they are $20 million over the salary cap, and on the cusp of losing one of their better players, Ty Law. And oh by the way, the early line has the Jets at 100-1 to even make the Super Bowl. At least when Roger Clemens renegotiated his contract, he got to live in Houston. Something stinks in New Jersey...and its the Jets.

Ultimately, the Jets will probably cut Pennington because of his refusal to give up $8 million in guaranteed salary. So to recap, here are the repercussions of not signing a new contract:
-You get $9 million
-You get to leave the Jets for a team more likely to win the Super Bowl (also known as "any other team besides the Jets")
-You get to leave New Jersey for a different state (the only chance of this being a negative is if Detroit picks him up, which I don't see happening)

All in all, a great day for Mr. Pennington and his uber-agent, Tom Condon...

Chub:
Ryan Leaf has left the golf cart for the gridiron, joining the coaching staff at D2 West Texas A&M University. It's safe to say Leaf will be more of a distraction at West Texas A&M than a proverbial 12th man. Somewhere, someone is readjusting the definition of "irony" in the Wikipedia to include Ryan Leaf being named a quarterbacks coach. Leaf was actually quoted as saying "I thoroughly enjoyed my time there (in Texas) with the Cowboys." Excuse me? Leaf went 0-3 as a starter with the Cowboys, had 1 touchdown & 3 interceptions, and was cut to make room for the consummate journeyman Chad Hutchinson. That sounds like a real vacation to me. The Buffaloes were the top passing team in Division II last year, so let's hope they recruited a star running back this year...

Chub:
It seems that the UC Berkeley police took a piss on the Stanford Tree, ratting out 5th year biology student/Stanford Tree mascot Erin Lashnits for drinking on the job. What's a fifth year gotta do to have some fun around here? Notoriously liberal Berkeley seems a bit Cheney-esque in their treatment of a non-situation. The police took a closer look at the Tree after she was dancing at center court during the game instead of under the basket, which is customary during road games at Cal. A blood alcohol test yielded a .15, not quite qualifying Lashnits to coach the Oklahoma State Sooners, but getting her kicked out off the sidelines and cited for public drunkeness. Leaders of the Stanford Band, who "manage" the Tree, have distanced themselves from the controversy. Of course, this is the same band that performed outside the courthouse during the OJ Simpson hearings, mocked the potato famine during a game against Notre Dame and joked about polygamy during a tilt with BYU. I know at least one guy who shed a tear over the recent news.