Monday, January 30, 2006

= Winner of the Ford Bronco Invitational

New Orleans' Chris Andersen was kicked out of the NBA for "violating the terms of the Anti-Drug Program agreed to by the NBA and the National Basketball Players Association." And he can't blame Miguel Tejada for this one, unless Miguel told him he was giving him an aspirin and it turned out to be a tablet of ecstasy. Who would have thought the long-haired, headband wearing, Long Beach native was hopped up on goofballs? Speaking of Long looks like even the genius Pete Carroll feels the need to be demure in the presence of the Doggfather. Snoop Dogg was apparently chosen in 2004 as the Coach of the Year in Pop Warner Football by the Ricky Williams foundation. Anyone who can't see the irony in Snoop winning an award from a foundation named after Ricky Williams is probably a little hazy about now...

But back to "The Birdman." He is probably best known for his less-than-stellar performance at last year's NBA All-Star Slam Dunk Contest, where his repeated missed attempts would have embarrassed even Billy Hoyle. But the loss of Andersen is a blow to the NBA, which now has exactly one white non-European center, Raef Lafrentz. And we all know it is just a matter of time before Lafrentz starts hitting the yayo, the powder, the piff, the butter, etc.

Skier Bode Miller has accused slugger Barry Bonds and sellout Lance Armstrong of using performance enhancing drugs to beat the competition in an interview with Rolling Stone. Initial reaction: what is this guy, drunk? In all fairness to Miller, Rolling Stone hasn't been relevant in years, so he was likely trying to just get the publication some press of its own. If anything, Miller should be reprimanded for stating the obvious. I mean, he might as well have added "Oprah is a horrible judge of character" and "Jude Law is not monogamous" while he was at it.

The San Diego Padres have picked up electrifying catcher Mike Piazza...not that there's anything wrong with that. Seriously, could there have been a worse pick up? I would have been happier if the Padres picked up Mark Blount and Ricky Davis. Their incumbent catcher (Doug Mirabelli, acquired in the Mark Loretta trade) is better than Piazza. The litigious Yogi Berra is better than Piazza, even at 80 years old. I would rather have a slice of mozzarella behind the plate than Mr. Piazza. His contract calls for him to make $1.25 million in 2006, with a $750K buyout option for the Padres, or they can resign him for $8 million in 2007. And yet every media outlet is calling it a $2 million deal? Who amongst us doesn't think Piazza will get his $8 million in `07? (insert sound of crickets) San Diego GM Kevin Towers...not so money(ball).


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